0502161727b

It has been a while since I sat down to actually update this blog.  I have a lot to say.  One thing I feel that is important to say is how I am feeling and…it is not very good.  That  makes it difficult to write, especially when deep down I really want to be this carefree and positive person, I don’t want to dwell on everything. The entire universe is divided in opinions and judgement, I get so much anxiety when I try to express myself.

So how do I write when I am not feeling too positive? I guess we will see.

Updates with Alexis and our autism journey…

Alexis is making a lot of progress verbally, she is speaking full sentences now and expressing herself.  With this comes a lot of screaming outbursts and improper use of “full sentences”.  She will often say nonsensical things and find herself frustrated when we need explaining.  We have gone through quite a few changes since I last updated on here.  Alexis is no longer seeing her OT/Speech therapists- who we will forever be grateful for.  They felt that her services were being properly met through the program she is in at school and they were no longer of service to her.  I was very sad to cross that bridge.  I have found out however, it is harder for me as the parent to cross those bridges than they are for Alexis.  She has handled many life changes very well above what I have expected.

Frustrations…
Alexis may be able to be vocal and verbalize now but she can’t communicate her frustrations at all.  She often will have violent and emotional breakdowns. My heart crushes to see her go through this.  I am pained to see how much these frustrations lead to our own negative emotional well-beings as well.  My husband and I are really struggling to keep peace for ourselves and for Cadence who really needs a break from the chaos that we know as life.

HAPPY ENDING…

I am hoping that the next time I blog I have better scenarios and the happiest of things to say.  We have another trip to the Mayo up ahead- a long and difficult one.  We will continue getting to know the behavioral therapist that has decided to come to our home and see what life is like here- wish him luck 😉